Grace at Work: A Lesson from Grief and Leadership

This week marks five years since I lost my mom.

She passed away at the age of 72, after a three-year battle with a rare form of leukemia. Her death came at the very beginning of COVID—just days before the world erupted in protest following the murder of George Floyd.

It was a time of immense upheaval, grief, and isolation—both for me and many others.

My mom came from a large, loving family, and under normal circumstances, we would have been surrounded by people to grieve and celebrate her life. Instead, because of pandemic restrictions, I spent the first night after she died alone in her home.

There was so much going on in the world at the time that it felt both overwhelming and strangely quiet. Some moments from those days are still crystal clear. Others are a blur. The world was already off-kilter, but grief added its own strange gravity.

Why I’m Sharing This

I'm sharing this story today for a few reasons.

To honor my mom’s life—and the gift of time

During her illness, my mom received countless blood transfusions. Each one gave her more time. Time to laugh, to talk with us, to live. Since then, I’ve become a regular blood donor—my small way of paying it forward. If you're able to donate blood, please consider doing so. It saves and extends lives.

To remind us: we never know what someone else is carrying

It’s easy to assume we know what’s going on with the people around us, but we often don’t.

During that season of loss, I was fortunate to have a job that allowed me a great deal of flexibility. I was able to work when I was able to. I'm thankful for that time, but I know most people are not so lucky. Many people have to continue working while dealing with all sorts of personal devastation.

We ask people to “bring their best selves to work”—but sometimes, people are just trying to bring themselves to work at all.

As a leader, colleague, or friend: I urge you to give people grace. Be curious before being critical. Assume there’s more going on than you can see. I write this as a reminder to myself as well.

Culture is About Being Human

Moments like this reaffirm my belief that culture isn’t just about performance metrics or engagement scores.

It’s about people. About what we value. About how we show up for one another—especially in the quiet, tender, and painful moments that don’t make it into quarterly reports.

If we want resilient organizations, we need to lead with compassion.
If we want innovative teams, we need to make space for humanity.
If we want to create real culture change, we need to start with care.

Today, I honor my mom by remembering her and the amazing life she lived. She was a very strong and independent woman. She was a great role model, a loving grandmother, and a great friend to many.

My mom, my kids, and I at my brother's family wedding in her home shortly before she died

I also honor her by continuing the work of building cultures where people don’t have to hide their humanity to do great work.

Because we never know what someone is carrying.
But we always have the choice to lead with kindness.

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If you’ve experienced loss, I see you. If you’re holding space for others who are grieving, I thank you. And if you're in a position to lead with compassion—please do.